Infertility is a rough road. It’s a day-by-day experience. You just never know how you’re going to feel. Pregnancy announcements, baby showers and births can send you into a terrible spiral of emotions that honestly no one wants to admit that they are feeling. Walking through the baby section can be difficult, there’s no doubt about that. Honestly, I have a stash of baby clothes + items for Baby Banks (for someday), but I had to stop contributing to the stash because it was making me sad. SO I turned my baby clothes buying fetish with buying baby gifts.
I want people to know that I am happy for them and I love them
Giving gifts is a way to show love (see number 3). It lets people know that you’re thinking of them and that you care. It’s possible to be happy for someone and sad for yourself, but constantly being sad for yourself and turning every happy thing into a negative thing just isn’t healthy or good for relationships. Don’t let your infertility journey ruin the relationships of your closest friends and family.
I want people to be happy for me when the time comes
When the time comes for me to have babies, I want people to be happy for me— not just because they know we’ve been waiting for some time, but because I was happy for them in their happy times too.
I love giving gifts and giving a good gift helps me show love and still be a part of something that I would love to be included on
Giving gifts is one of the ways I show love. I love buying the perfect gift for people. It’s kind of a game to me. Before our infertility journey began (and even after it started) I lovvvvvved shopping for baby clothes + baby items. There have been moments that shopping in the baby section has just been too hard, but for the most part, I just love baby clothes. Giving them away as gifts helps me to be able to shop in the baby section without the sadness of buying them for “some day.”
I enjoy giving gifts that people might not buy for themselves
I absolutely love giving “higher end gifts”— obviously not cribs or anything like that— but good diaper bags aka the Freshly Picked City Pack (I even bought one of these for myself for every day use because it’s a DANG good bag) or Freshly Picked Moccasins. I LOVE giving Freshly Picked because of The Fringe. I’ve explained The Fringe before here, but just as a quick recap: it’s a subscription service. You pay $10 a month which then turns into $10 of in-store credit. If you don’t use the $10 that month, your credits roll over for a year. THEN you also get 20% your purchase + FREE shipping always + early access to sales & new arrivals. AND if you use this link you’ll get $5 free! It’s seriously the best thing ever!
I can give a gift (or do an act of service) without having to have a face-to-face conversation
Baby showers are still hard for me to go to sometimes. But dropping off a gift or dinner to my friend or sending them something in the mail still shows them that I love them and care about them, but I don’t have to be there physically.
I don’t ever want to diminish the pain and struggle that comes with infertility. I know it well. But I also know that service and love can help you overcome those hard feelings. Living in sadness is not a fun life. We weren’t put on this earth to be sad always. We’re given things that are hard to help us grow and become better. If we dwell on our sadness forever, nothing will ever change. (However, if you’re feeling deep, deep sadness or having thoughts of suicide or death, please seek professional help. Anxiety and depression are real and there is absolutely no shame in getting help.) I hope that as you go through your infertility journey, you’ll be able to show love and happiness for those closest to you. Keep holding on, friends.