wednesday letters: JAZZED

friends, if you've met parker, chances are, he was wearing some sort of sports related piece of clothing. whether that's a hat, shirt, jacket, socks, watch, etc. (all of the above), he was probably wearing something of the sort. because he LOVES sports. sports are his passion & it's something i would never take away from him, or make him stop loving. (because honestly, i don't think that's possible) so when we started dating, i jumped on the bandwagon. i fed off of his love of sports & have now been to more professional sports events than i can count. when we moved to salt lake, we jumped at every opportunity to go to a jazz game because they are just too much fun. and then the jazz started doing REALLY well & it was super fun to watch & cheer on. and then they made it to the playoffs. 

guys, one of parker's dreams has been to go to a playoff game. i'm all about living your dreams, so when an opportunity to buy cheap(ish) tickets came along, we jumped in with two feet. this monday, we found ourselves sitting at the tiiiiiipppy top of the vivint smarthome arena cheering the jazz on to their victory. IT WAS SO MUCH FUN. we got free shirts, free chick-fil-a (well, there was a slight mishap with that, but the guy still missed both free throws, so we enjoyed our chick-fil-a as though it was free even though we paid for it. hahaha), good company (thanks for coming with us matt & kelsey!! we had so much fun!!), and just thrived off of the energy that was in the arena. i can't even think of words to explain it. we just kept saying, "that was so much fun" after the game. because it was so much fun. we lost our voices & went to bed WAY later than normal, but we checked a playoff game off of parker's bucket list & it was so, so worth it. last night, we went to a friend's house to watch game five & just had a blast there too... even if the jazz lost yesterday. bummer. 

but WE HAVE FAITH! jazz in six??

i love being able to spend time with parker doing things that he loves because we always have the best time. 

JAZZ IN 6. JAZZ IN 6. JAZZ IN 6!!!!

wednesday letters: i want to be a friend like that.

okay, i'm SERIOUSLY considering just calling these thursday letters because i seriously cannot remember to write them on wednesdays. it's unreal. but i'm not going to do that, because i'm just gonna get my stuff together & do my best to write them on wednesdays. but i digress. 

tbh, this week has been ROUGH. there have been lots of tears over our sweet mackie. however, in the same breath, i have to say that we have been so blessed this week because today will be the first day that we eat dinner at home. our family & friends have really stepped up this week & it has been incredibly humbling. we have been so grateful. i was telling parker the other day that this whole experience has made me realize how i can be a better friend. from the two year olds in our lives to the 84 year olds in our lives, we have felt love from all of you. & we are so grateful.

i've learned that empathy comes down to simply feeling the core feelings-- not necessarily understanding those feelings, but just feeling them. i learned that from 2 year olds and 3 year olds, guys. our nieces & nephews have seriously showed up in grieving with us & i am so impressed by their love. they were sad, simply because we were sad. they all wanted to make sure that we were okay & that mack was okay. their ability to love & feel empathy is incredible. i want to be a friend like that. 

we were given heartfelt & thoughtful gifts. people sent us gifts & notes because they knew we were hurting & wanted to brighten our days, even just a little bit. we're grateful for the meals, the texts, the calls, the gifts, the comments, the prayers, the pictures (our cute nephew painted us a picture to help us feel better, it was so sweet), the time you've spent with us. seriously, we cannot even begin to express our gratitude. i want to be a friend that doesn't just think about sending gifts or notes, but just does that because i'm thinking about it. i want to be the friend that doesn't ask how i can help, but just tries to help by inviting someone over for dinner, taking them dinner, sending them a sweet little gift in the mail or dropping something off to their house. it takes FIVE minutes to do any of those things but i can truly say that it makes such a huge difference. i want to be a friend like that.

like i said, we have been so, so humbled by this experience & even though we miss our sweet pup, we are grateful for the love we've felt & the spirit of kindness that has been shown to us in the last 5 days. & honestly, through our entire marriage. we have seriously been blessed with the best friends & family that this world has ever known. if you're reading this blog post, consider yourself a friend/family, because i'm definitely writing to YOU. you've all changed our lives & we hope from here on out that we can be the kind of friend that you all have been to us. 

wednesday letters: catching up on life

ya'll. it has been a B U S Y last few weeks but we are finally coming through!!! i know i've said this before, but going full-time has really kicked my trash a little bit. πŸ˜¬πŸ˜¬πŸ˜¬ & honestly, work has been a little bit crazy. but it has started slowing down & i feel like i'm finally getting the hang of things enough to not be working like a crazy psycho until the end of the day, so things are really looking up for us, guys. i am very excited about it. 

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parker recently got a nintendo switch (thanks tax return, we will never be able to repay you... nor do we want to) & he has been loving playing his switch while i've got shoots after work during the week. it's really helped him be more patient with me at shoots which is really nice & i don't feel so bad for taking two hours out of his day for shoots. so i'm real grateful for that little thing. & he seems to love it, so that makes me really happy.

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mack is learning all sorts of new tricks. in the last few months, he has learned what the words outside, let's go, inside, sit, paw, and lay down mean. he started sitting on command a month or two ago, then he learned to paw at us if he wants attention or belly scritches, and just this week, he learned how to lay down on command. seeing him actually learn something is actually so exciting. i get so proud of him when he actually learns something & learns to apply it. 

i've been able to work on my blog & website a bit more & i'm super stoked about that. i've got some fun posts comin up that i cannot wait to share. &&&&&&& i have had time to work on my blog during breaks at work, so i'm not even kidding when i say that i have some fun posts in the works!!! 

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we've also been doing some new stuff with infertility treatments, but tbh, i don't really know what's going on. i mean i do, but i can't really explain it at this point because we moved into a new phase & it's a treatment we've never done before. & we're in a weird spot when it comes to talking about things because it's kind of like a limbo phase. so just hang tight for a while until i can talk about it in more detail. 

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if you've made it this far, i'd love it if you left a comment to let me know what you want to see more of on my blog. i love writing, but i know that readers matter. & i want to write what you want to read. do you like lifestyle best? infertility posts? tips & tricks? tell me all the things!! i want to hear your opinions!!

+ little loves +

this morning, parker & i announced a clothing shop that we have been working on for the last little while. we've wanted to come up with a way to help people in a similar situation as ours. infertility can be a lonely journey & then can also be a little bit awkward hard to navigate for those who have never experienced it (heck, even for those who have/are experiencing it). so we wanted to create a way for everyone to come together a bit. 

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little loves is a baby clothes shop. 25% of profits will go to a grant that will help families who are seeking to do infertility treatments or adopt be able to do so. we are so, so, so excited to be able to open our shop & know that this can be of great help to people like us who so desperately want to start a family. 

we would love it if you would share little loves with your friends & family to help us be able to reach our goals. we would also love it if you would follow us on instagram to see the products in our shop. we will open on october 2, 2017 & hope that you'll stay tuned to see the cutest baby clothes around & stick around for for the exciting things we have planned for our shop! 

a few sneak peeks below! ALL THE HEART EYES FOR THESE CLOTHES!!!! eeeeeeek. 

he didn't ask me to marry him. {our engagement story}



this post was originally published on October 24, 2015
for as long as i can remember, i've been in love with love and marriage and weddings and proposals and rings and all of that stuff. i've been "planning" my own wedding for years on pinterest. i knew what i wanted and i had rules that the boy i would marry would need to follow for when he got down on one knee and proposed to me.

1. he has to ask my dad first.
2. there has to be a ring. [not because i'm like some spoiled brat that just wants a gorgeous ring, but mostly because i don't see the point in "getting engaged" if you don't quite look the part. it's a personal opinion.]
3. i don't want a lot of people there. [that's a really special moment between two people and i didn't want to feel obligated to say yes....... kind of an awkward reason, but that's one way i could know that he actually knows me]
4. i DO NOT want it to be at the temple. [another personal choice. i LOVE, LOVE, LOVE the temple! buuuuuut that just seems really clichΓ© to me. plus there are people at the temple. ALL THE TIME.]
5. it has to mean something to us. like have a memory(memories) attached to it.

and the last one.

6. he can't ask me to marry him.

yep. you read that right. and here's the reason. you know that scene in Definitely, Maybe when the main guy is practicing his proposal and he doesn't kneel down and then he says, "will you... umm... marry me??" and you can tell that he's super nervous and not quite sure whether or not the girl will say yes. and then the girl that he's practicing with says no? that's what i DIDN'T want. i didn't want it to be a question as to whether or not i would say yes. i wanted a straightforward, "sadie, i love you. so marry me." or something along those lines.

so. now that i've made you read a preface to our story, here's the story!

i'm a planner. i have to know what i'm doing during the week at least a week in advance or i stress out. so this sunday, parker and i sat down and were going through our week. we had two dates scheduled-- one for wednesday and one for thursday. just normal dates. and then we had a few other things that we needed to do. well, on tuesday [maybe wednesday, i can't really remember], parker came to me and asked if we could change our plans. he said that he had really been wanting to go to the Joseph Smith Memorial Building and he just wanted to go this week. in my brain i was like, "yes. yes. yes. yes. yes. yes. yes. yes. yes. yes." but i kept my cool and said something like, "sure, we can do that." with a shrug for added emphasis on the cool that i was keeping.

then for the next few days, i was reaaaaaaally skeptical about all of the things that parker "had" to do. for instance, he had to "work late" for like two days. he NEVER works late. he "had" to go visit his brother thursday night up in salt lake. and then his best friend's wife all of a sudden needed a ride home from salt lake on thursday so they were just going to carpool to salt lake together (he said this was actually a full-truth but i was/still am skeptical about that one... too coincidental if you ask me. hahah).

and then on thursday night, he asked me if we could go to my favorite bench in salt lake after dinner. uhh. yes please.

this is from this summer when i first shared my bench with parker.


even with all of these things, i still didn't feel like it was going to happen because he didn't have the ring yet. {please refer to rule #2} my lack of patience and excitement were getting the best of me. i didn't want to ruin our "special dinner" by being disappointed if we didn't get engaged. but i REAAAAALLY wanted to get engaged.

friday finally came. and it was the SLOWEST DAY EVER. luckily i had a lot of things that i needed to do that day, so it wasn't as slow as it could have been. around 3:30pm he came over to my apartment to pick me up. we just hung out at my apartment for about an hour because our dinner reservations weren't until 6pm. we headed up to salt lake around 4:30 and traffic was awful. it was stop and go through all of the dumb construction. and then what made it worse? we got into a fender bender accident. [for those that are worried, aka GRANDMAS: we are fine. everyone was fine. there is literally just a tiny dent in parker's rear bumper] parker was pretty annoyed at the guy that hit us, but he calmly got out of the car to exchange information. and unbeknownst to me, this was how it actually went down: parker: "look, i'm proposing tonight and i don't really have time for this. can i just get your information and call you later?" guy: "oh man. sure. good luck man!" and they exchanged information and we were on our way again.

we got to the Joseph Smith Memorial Building with like a minute to spare. maybe. but we made it. we ate dinner. he got salmon and i got a caesar salad. [after the night was over, he told me that was the worst salmon he's ever had but only because he was so nervous that he couldn't even enjoy it.] we ate and then because we were on the 10th floor of the JSMB we went and looked out the windows at the temple. [quite possibly one of my favorite spots in salt lake] and then parker told me he had to go to the bathroom. [where he was texting his friends and telling them we were done with dinner] HE WAS GONE FOR FOREVER. when he came back, i had to refrain from quoting psych, "you were in the bathroom for a REALLY long time." but at that point i had already texted my friend emily and was certain that it wasn't happening that night.

he apparently had to stall because his friends weren't finished setting it up yet. so he asked if i wanted to go walk around temple square. i said sure. we looked at the temple for like a minute and then went over to the fountains because parker loves water fountains a lot. so we did that. i was getting pretty antsy because i wanted to go sit on my bench before it got too cold and dark. plus, in my mind it wasn't happening that night and i didn't want to ruin the night by getting frustrated. but he sure was taking his sweet time walking around the fountains...

we finally went back to the car and started heading towards my bench. and then parker turned to me and was like, "i know you know the way, but i think i can get there on my own. so don't give me directions." so i was like, alllllright. and guys, that was the most painful part of the whole night. backseat driving is one of my many talents that help absolutely no one. and there was more than one time that we were going in the complete wrong direction... so hard. hahaha. i'm pretty sure he was continuing to stall by taking all those wrong turns.. at least i'll give him the benefit of the doubt.

after like 30 minutes of driving, he got us to the right street. my bench is on a hill that overlooks the salt lake valley.

he had his friends put tiki torches up the walk way and around my bench and his sisters covered up this ugly sign with a cute little sign they had made. 

as we were driving up the hill, this was my thought process: i'm so excited to go to my bench again! .... what are those? .... someone put something weird around my--- ohhhhhhh. it IS happening tonight. .... what am i supposed to do? .... do i pretend like i didn't see or like i don't know what's going on? .... holy crap. i'm getting engaged! 

he parked the car and looked at me and said, "are ya ready?" and i just nodded because i literally had no words. we got a blanket out of his car and i grabbed my coat. and we went and sat down on my bench. he told me all of the things that he loves about me and why he fell in love with me. and my bench became our bench.






and then we stood up and looked at salt lake.




and THEN he knelt down in front of me. pulled out my gorgeous ring and said, "sadie, i want to be with you for forever." and i said, "okay!" and then he stood up and said, "i'm taking your 'okay' as a yes."

i never realize how short i actually am until i see pictures like this...




this is one of my favorite pictures from the night because seriously, this is our relationship in a nutshell. he says something and i die laughing. every time. also, can i just mention that i love the feeling that these pictures give? maybe it's just because they're mine... but i seriously LOVE all of these. definitely some of my favorite pictures ever.


and then he put the ring on my finger.


it was seriously the best moment of my life thus far.

and then his sisters who were taking the pictures ran across the street and congratulated us, gave us hugs and took a few more pictures. and then we left to go back to orem.


the classic "ring picture" with our cute sign his sister made! :)



it was the happiest night. he did such a good job. i'm the luckiest girl in the world because i get to marry parker. one thing that i absolutely love about parker is that he helps me to follow my dreams and make my dreams a reality. and i don't just mean that he followed my silly proposal rules, but he encourages me every day to develop my talents and become a better version of myself. i'm so incredibly grateful that God placed him in my life at the perfect times and that everything fell together perfectly. and last but certainly not least, i'm so excited to start our new adventure as a MARRIED COUPLE [what? dreams do come true, kids. they really do!] on january 15, 2016 in the Salt Lake Temple!



seriously. he did SUCH A GOOD JOB. what a winner.



march 20, 2016 update: 
this is still one of my most favorite stories on the planet. sometimes it doesn't even seem real. but it totally is! parker and i have been happily married for two months now and it has just been so much fun. now, i'm reposting this BECAUSE today is NATIONAL PROPOSAL DAY!! (if i had known this was a real holiday, i would've been celebrating it my entire life)

soooooo.... happy proposal day!