when the sharpest words wanna cut me down...

if you’ve seen any of my posts in the last two weeks, you know that i’m borderline obsessed with the movie, the greatest showman. i connected to SO many of the characters (except jenny lind. hate her) on such a personal level. & i just cried my way through the song this is me. i was with 3 guys, so i had to control my tears. but that song SPOKE to me. 

“i wont let them break me down to dust, i know that there’s a place for us... when the sharpest words wanna cut me down— i’m gonna send a flood, gonna drown ‘em out. i am brave, i am bruised, i am who i’m meant to be; this is me. look out ‘cause here i come. and i’m marching on to the beat i drum. i’m not scared to be seen, i make no apologies, this is me.”

Shop Beige 12 6 17-Shop Beige 12 6 17-0072.jpg

this year has been... hard. don’t get me wrong, it has been incredible & wonderful, but with all good things, there are hard things.

a few months ago, a close friend of mine shared some of her opinions of me with me. they weren’t the kindest opinions i’ve ever heard. & they caused me to do some serious soul searching in every aspect of my life, especially my intentions. i began to hesitate & question every choice that was placed before me, fearing what people would think.

Shop Beige 12 6 17-Shop Beige 12 6 17-0268.jpg

“when the sharpest words wanna cut me down, i’m gonna send a flood, gonna drown them out.”

as the months have passed since that conversation, i’ve slowly begun to regain confidence in myself & my intentions. it honestly doesn’t matter if nobody reads my blog, follows me on instagram, hires me to be their photographer. but those things make ME happy. i truly enjoy writing, scrolling through instagram & photographing happy people. i feel fulfilled when i can do those things. (instagram may be insignificant & stupid to you, but i enjoy it)

Shop Beige 12 6 17-Shop Beige 12 6 17-0314.jpg

“i am brave, i am bruised, i am who i’m meant to be; this is me.”

it wasn’t until about 8 months ago when i realized that i ACTUALLY COULD make a life doing the things i truly enjoy. even if i don’t take the road someone else took. i dropped out of college a year ago & i’ve been able to be successful. (that doesn’t work for everyone— i’m so grateful it worked for me) i got married [kinda] young & we’ve lived in a basement for 21 of the 23 months we’ve been married (also awesome). we haven’t been able to have babies as quickly as we would have liked & then we got a puppy. 

Shop Beige 12 6 17-Shop Beige 12 6 17-0158.jpg

“look out ‘cause here i come & i’m marchin’ on to the beat i drum. i’m not scared to be seen, i make no apologies; this is me.”

if you’re marching to the beat of your own drum, keep marching. it’s okay to hear the negative things people say— take them into consideration & then do your thing. do what makes you happy; even if that means swimming against the current a little bit. stick up for yourself. trust your gut. pray a lot. be brave because bruises don’t last forever. 

“i wont let them break me down to dust, i know that there’s a place for us... when the sharpest words wanna cut me down— i’m gonna send a flood, gonna drown ‘em out. i am brave, i am bruised, i am who i’m meant to be; this is me. look out ‘cause here i come. and i’m marching on to the beat i drum. i’m not scared to be seen, i make no apologies, this is me.”

Shop Beige 12 6 17-Shop Beige 12 6 17-0347.jpg