we've learned a few things in our fertility journey & are so grateful for the things we've learned. i was recently asked if i had any tips or advice for someone just starting a journey with infertility. although sometimes i feel like we are JUST starting, i wrote back to the sweet friend who reached out & then quickly realized that the response needed to be shared with more than just her. i've updated the post a little bit & added a few things. so i hope this can help you.
i want you first to know a few different things about infertility.
1. unfortunately, you are not considered "infertile" until you & your partner have been actively trying to conceive for 12 months.
2. i am not a doctor, nor can i give you any sort of medical treatment or medical advice.
3. if you'd like more information on infertility or fertility treatments, go here.
now, on to the "advice" portion of this post & what we've learned on our fertility journey.
one of our biggest regrets (?) is that we waited so long to go to a Fertility Specialist. we found one that was reasonably priced & has treated us well about two months ago! in our experience, Fertility Specialists have been much more sensitive & helpful when it comes to this because, well, they are specialists in fertility and know that it's a hard road.
parker & i have talked a lot about this journey & what about it we are grateful for. there was a long time that i wasn't grateful at all. it was hard & i hated it. i wanted a baby ASAP and felt jipped because God wasn't answering our prayers right away or the way we wanted Him to. but slowly, i've learned to see the roses & not just the thorns.
we are grateful for the time that we've been able to spend together. this time will never be again. once you have kids, you're a parent for the rest of forever-- even though i long to be a mother, i am so grateful for the time that i get to spend with just parker.
we are grateful that there are doctors and treatments that CAN help us. as soon as we learned that i had PCOS, we were given a path & treatment options that DO WORK. which is incredible & gave me so much hope. for a long time, i had lost a lot of hope. i didn't have much faith in my body or the doctors that we were seeing (we had a few negative experiences before we found a doctor that we loved) which made it really hard to have hope that we one day will have kids. something that has really helped me was changing the lock screen of my phone to a very simple picture that says "Stay Hopeful." (thanks, arvo) i read that often & that has helped me a ton.
another thing that has really helped me has been prayer. for a few months, i was angry at God. and it was really hard to pray. and sometimes it still is. but i've found that when i pour my heart out to God, i feel peace. when i thank Him for that peace, i feel more peace. and it turns out that through this journey, i haven't just been longing for a baby, but i've also been longing for peace.
it's okay to hurt. it's okay to cry. but it's also okay to feel happy. there were a few months where i felt like i should be sad all of the time because something sad was happening to me. i felt weird being happy. but as i've overcome those feelings of feeling weird being happy or that it's not okay to feel happy, i've been able to walk through this trial better. we've been able to enjoy being together and enjoy this time-- even though something hard is happening 24/7. feeling sad every day is just terrible. this life isn't a game of "who has the hardest trial?" so don't feel like you have to play that game with yourself. but if you need to take a break from being happy & just cry. do it. part of this life is feeling emotions and having hard experiences-- not just sweeping them under the rug.
and remember, everyone is different! so i hope all of this helps you in some way & that you can take what you need!! if you have any other questions (about treatments or anything else) don't hesitate to ask! i'm more than happy to answer!
keep on keepin' on! this trial is hard, but you are so strong & you can make it through!