sadie's soapbox: negative body image

hi friends. i feel like a lot of my sadie's soapbox posts, let me start this post with a disclaimer. i am fully aware that i am a small human. i know that a lot of people "wish they were my size," blah, blah, blah. i am not here to make anyone angry or to complain about my weight, pant size or body fat percentage.

i'm here to talk about negative body image & how it affects everyone. large or small. size xs or xxxl. it doesn't discriminate based on size or gender. anyone can be plagued with negative body image. did you know that at least 30 MILLION people are affected by an eating disorder in the U.S. alone? (source

i have had a lot of months where i have absolutely loathed my body. not because i feel overweight or ugly but because i feel like my body has failed me. if i'm correct, and i feel like i am, then 1 in every 8 women feel pretty similar to me because they are also struggling with infertility. (source)

i currently work at a swimsuit kiosk, which means i also hear a lot of negative comments. 
"well these would look cute on girls YOUR size."
"i'm like an extra, extra, EXTRA large" (when clearly they aren't)
"well this isn't going to fit over my bump."
"i need to lose SO much weight before i could even try to fit into one of these."
"I CANNOT BELIEVE I AM A LARGE."
"what are you? like extra, extra small?"
"i used to be small like you, then i had kids." 

obviously those girls don't know me at all. but three things here. 

  1. your backhanded compliments don't make me feel good about myself (also, your body type & shape is COMPLETELY different from mine-- you can't compare us)
  2. what you don't know is that this girl feels betrayed by her "extra small body" so i guess neither of us win here
  3. don't complain about your body that literally GREW A HUMAN.

almost every day i have thoughts like this:
my body betrayed me.
i hate my body.
my body failed me.
my body won't do the ONE thing it is made to do.
i can't get pregnant. 
people that are way more unhealthy than me can get pregnant so what's the point of being healthy if my body won't even do what it's supposed to? 

and i know that people are trying to be comforting or nice when they say things like this, but they just... aren't.
"but you won't have stretch marks!"
"you can eat whatever you want and not get fat!"
"i wish i was still that small"
"compared to you i am HUGE"
"i wish i could still fit into extra small"
"if you have kids, your body will never be the same" 

maybe this post is just a rant of all of the things i am 100% over hearing--from myself included. but maybe, i also want to let everyone know, that the size 2 girl that you're comparing yourself to probably also has demons when it comes to her body image. so instead of comparing (and giving her that backhanded compliment), tell her how cool she is for her ability to make people laugh all the time. or tell her how much you admire how brave she is for going to thailand to teach english. or tell her that you have loved watching her grow XXX talent that she possesses! or tell her that she is smart! or just tell her that you love her for who she is. 

i'm learning how to have positive body image & thoughts towards my body. so any tips on how to love yourself despite flaws would be great! 

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i share these photos from Alice Cannon Photography so often because i feel beautiful in them. so thank you 100x over, Alice!! 💕