wednesday letter: my life in quotes

it's another wednesday and another wednesday letter. and this week, i find myself, feeling like michael scott when he said this:

"i knew exactly what to do, but in a much more real sense i had no idea what to do" --

michael scott

do you ever feel that way? last week i shared about how sometimes i just really don't want to take the next step, but this week i'm having a hard time figuring out what the next step even is. for anything really. so what do you do, my virtual pen pals? when you're at a crossroads of sorts and you don't know which path to take, what do you do?

lately, i've been listening to a lot of general conference talks, podcasts, and reading a lot of books to help me figure out what the heck i'm supposed to be doing + how to do [whatever i'm supposed to be doing] it well. and let me tell ya, once i figure it out, i'm going to be REALLY good at it.

"i have no idea what i'm doing, but i know that i'm doing it really, really well." --

andy dwyer

one of my favorite conference talks that i've been actually listened to quite a few times was elder

ballard's talk, "

return and receive

" as i've been working on trying to narrow down what exactly i want to do in life, these words from elder ballard's talk struck me:

"Knowing where you are going and how you expect to get there can bring meaning, purpose, and accomplishment to life."

"Some have difficulty differentiating between a goal and a plan until they learn that a goal is a destination or an 

end,

 while a plan is the route by which you get there."

"Goal setting is essentially beginning with the end in mind. And planning is devising a way to get to that end. A key to happiness lies in understanding what destinations truly matter—and then spending our time, effort, and attention on the things that constitute a sure way to arrive there."

i've also been reading

the e myth revisited: why most small businesses don't work and what to do about it

 and that book has seriously opened up my mind as to how the business world works. in the e myth, michael gerber talks about how within each of us, we have three personalities; the technician (who has the technical skills), the entrepreneur (who is the dreamer), and the manager (who runs the system of business). he says that everyone has those personalities within them, but usually one of those personalities is way more dominant than the other two. for me, the entrepreneur is 9238472094387 times more dominant than the technician or manager. i'm constantly thinking of new business ideas or new products that i could be launching. but something else that mr. gerber talks about in his book is learning to control those personalities AND help them work together to create the best business possible. 

"And to play this new game, called

building a small business that actually works,

 your Entrepreneur needs to be coaxed out, nourished and given the room she needs to expand, and your Manager needs to be supported as well so she can develop her skill at creating order and translating the entrepreneurial vision into actions that can be efficiently manifested in the real world.... So whether we like it or not, we have to learn how. The exciting thing is, that once you begin to, once your Technician begins to let go, once you make room for the rest of you to flourish, the game becomes more rewarding than you can possibly imagine at this point in your business's life." 

ISN'T THAT SO EXCITING?!?!?!?! sorry, this is where i geek out. a year ago if you had told me that i would love the business portion of running a business, i would have told you that you were crazy. but i can't get enough. and before i started reading the e myth, i lived my life like leslie knope:

"there's nothing we can't do if we work hard, never sleep, & shirk all other responsibilities in our lives."

but not any more!! however, by now you're probably bored. this is the point in the conversation where parker starts looking around for something new to talk about. but i'm fired up. so if you want to talk about business, seriously call me, text me, email me, whatever. i'm legitimately always down to talk about business. 

but for now, i'll move into the infertility portion of this week's update. i talked to a dear friend last week about how if there's something i don't want to share, i don't have to share it. this might seem obvious to you, but it wasn't to me. i get asked a lot of questions. pretty personal questions. and sometimes it feels like if someone asks, i

have

to answer. but that's not true. this week i'm not sharing any updates, because well, i don't have any updates. but i

do

 have a quote from elder holland's talk "

s

ongs sung and unsung

" that struck me to the very, very core. 

"Fortunately, the seats for this particular number are limitless. There is room for those who speak different languages, celebrate diverse cultures, and live in a host of locations. There is room for the single, for the married, for large families,

and for the childless

. There is room for those who once had questions regarding their faith and room for those who still do. There is room for those with differing sexual attractions. In short, there is a place for everyone who loves God and honors His commandments as the inviolable measuring rod for personal behavior, for if love of God is the melody of our shared song, surely our common quest to obey Him is the indispensable harmony in it." (emphasis added)

sometimes it feels like there isn't room for me, or like i don't fit in because i don't have kids yet. but this line was such a blessing and tender mercy. it came at the exact right time. there

is

 room for me. and no matter where YOU are on your journey, there's room for you too. 

so even if sometimes you feel like michael scott or andy dwyer (see quotes above) know that there's room for you. setting goals and seeking help can help you figure out what you need to do.