in your 20's.

{this is another family foundations post! i'm kind of sad that the semester is ending, this has been a fun little project! we are all important. divorce. the language of loooooove. however, i must say, this topic has been on my mind a LOT lately, so i'm hoping that it's not too soap boxy. my apologies in advance if it is...}



one day i was perusing through pinterest [i do that often. i'll admit it.] and i came across this quote:

"your twenties are your 'selfish' years. it's a decade to immerse yourself in every single thing possible. be selfish with your time, and all the aspects of you. tinker with [stuff], travel, explore, love a lot, love a little, and never touch the ground." {kyoko escamilla}

sounds good, right? 
maybe on paper.
but not in real life.

this is some of the worst /slash/ most confusing advice i've ever laid eyes on. i must admit, i LOVE the last line because i think experiencing things and continuing to live our lives as we wait upon certain blessings (*cough* marriage *cough* or school or kids or anything really) is SO important. 

but telling ourselves that it's okay to be selfish is definitely NOT a good idea. 
selfishness is a trap
it consumes you.
and it is SO incredibly hard to undo. (possible, but difficult.)

in a podcast we watched this week in family foundations, this quote by Elder Bruce C. Hafen was given: "The adversary has long cultivated this emphasis on personal autonomy, and how he feverishly exploits it. Our deepest God-given instinct is to run to the arms of those who need us and sustain us. But [Satan] drives us away from each other today with wedges of distrust and suspicion. He exaggerates the need for having space, getting out and being left alone." {Elder Bruce C. Hafen, Covenant Marriage, October 1996, emphasis added}

as i've pondered over these things for the past few hours, i've thought about the times when i "just needed space" or "just needed to get out of here" or "just wanted to be alone" -- in all of those times i was being completely selfish. thinking only in terms of me or i. in those times i threw myself major pity parties. and at the end of them... guess what. i was still unhappy. the times where i've gone to others who need me (aka done some sort of service) or those who sustain me (aka let others serve & help me) i have felt true peace and happiness; even if it's just for a moment, those feelings are still there and still very real. and ultimately, they are evidence of God's love and awareness of me and they relieve the need for space, getting out and being left alone.

selfishness never was happiness.
wickedness never was happiness. 
i've basically heard it both ways.

but don't lose all hope if selfishness is one of your things to deal with because

i shared this on my instagram account. feel free to check that out. @sadieleigh13

there is purpose in our weakness.
the atonement is R E A L. and we can change! (as my pal em-dog would say, "hollerback." because i'm so grateful for that tidbit of truth!) we just have to work on it with the Savior as our guide.

"Friends, especially my young friends, take heart. Pure Christlike love flowing from true righteousness can change the world." {Elder Jeffery R. Holland, Cost and Blessings of Discipleship, April 2014}

we can change the world. one selfless act at a time. 

"you have SUCH a capacity to serve & be an instrument for the Lord in your life right now as a [young] {single} adult!" (btdubs: you don't have to be young or single to be an instrument for the Lord.)

think about that.
and then do something about that.